• Popular

    Kylie Jenner Didn’t Know Cereal With Milk Was A Thing And People Are Losing Their Minds

    We often think that celebrities operate within a different framework to us mere mortals. They get all of the finest things in life, go to parties we could never get into, and meet in shadowy rooms to discuss their reptilian conquest of our puny planet.

    In reality, however, they are just the same as us, they put their trousers on one leg at a time. Or do they? It turns out that some of the more ordinary habits of regular life haven’t quite filtered up into the upper echelons of society yet.

    Last night Kylie Jenner made a discovery. She was so excited about it that she went onto Twitter to tell the masses:

    Wait, what?

    What has she been putting on her cereal all of this time? Moët & Chandon? Chanel No. 5? Glitter?

    Moreover, has she ever tried to eat a single Shredded Wheat without having any milk on it? It’s virtually impossible.

    She then revealed her further ignorance of breakfast-time etiquette:

    Jenner also answered the important of which cereal is the cereal du jour in her household.

    “Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Amazing”

    Well, she’s got that right at least.

    And hey, she isn’t the first celebrity to have a problem like this…

    Naturally, the news that a woman who is famous for basically nowt doesn’t know how to eat cereal properly sent the Internet into absolute meltdown:

    Credit: Twitter
    Credit: Twitter

    Credit: Twitter
    Credit: Twitter

    That’s a bit harsh – we all know that she doesn’t consume the blood of the poor. Surely rubbing it into her skin to maintain her perpetual youth is a more likely scenario.

    That being said, some have defended her:

    Credit: Twitter
    Credit: Twitter

    It begs the question: What else is she unaware of? Her life could be so much further enriched by learning about peanut butter and jam, chips and gravy, or pizza and Peri-Peri sauce (you’re welcome).

    Of course, there is the very real possibility that this is all a huge publicity scam. As soon as the Kardashians get on board with anything, they like to try and turn it into an opportunity for monetary gain.

    This can surely only mean one thing – Kardashian cereal will be out by the end of the year, mark my words.

    But what should they call it? Special K is out of the question, obviously.

    Featured Image Credit: PA

  • Michael Moore believes ‘evil genius’ Trump will be a two-term president

    The documentary filmmaker spoke to CNN while promoting his upcoming film about the impact of Trump’s 2016 victory, “Fahrenheit 11/9.”

    “Too many people in the summer of 2016 were so sure Hillary [Clinton] was going to win, saying no one is going to vote for this idiot,” Moore said. “He could win again. I operate as if he is a two-term Trump. I have to. If you think any other way you are guaranteeing that whoever is going to run against him will lose.”

    Moore’s explanation to the phenomenon of a Trump presidency?

    “I think the man is an evil genius and he was able to outsmart the smartest person ever to run for president,” Moore said. “He figured out how to win by losing the election. How did that happen? Historians are going to deal with this for years to come.”

    Moore said he believes Trump is behind numerous White House leaks, including the anonymous op-ed published by The New York Times earlier this month.

    “Trump wrote it. Trump or one of his minions wrote it,” he said. “He’s the master distractor. He’s the king of the misdirect. If we have learned anything by now, it’s that he does things to get people to turn away. Let me give you the line in there that is most identifiable that he wants the public to believe. It’s the line that says, ‘Don’t worry, adults are in the room.’ That’s the idea, to get us to calm down and look away from what he’s really doing.”

    As for what moviegoers will see in Moore’s Trump-focused film?

    “We made a decision on the first day of this film that we were not going to chase the news cycle. Because why do that? People see on the nightly news they don’t need to go to a movie theater to watch that,” Moore explained. “We are presenting the larger picture of what is going on. I’m also going to show people how Trump didn’t just fall out of the sky. There’s a long road to Trump and we have all sadly been on it.”

    “Fahrenheit 11/9” opens in theaters September 20.

  • Popular

    Michael Jordan Donating $2 Million To Hurricane Florence Victims

    Michael Jordan Donating $2 Million … To Hurricane Victims

    Breaking News

    Hurricane Florence victims are getting a huge assist from Michael Jordan … ’cause the NBA’s best-ever is sending $2 MILLION to help anyone affected by the storm.

    Jordan — who owns the Charlotte Hornets — says he’s giving $1 mil to the American Red Cross and another million to the Foundation For The Carolinas’ Hurricane Florence Response fund.

    The Hornets are also donating food boxes.

    The team says it’s also created “Carolina Strong” shirts … and says 100 percent of the profits will be donated as well.

    By the way … Jordan and the Hornets aren’t the only big-league club pitching in on the relief efforts — the Atlanta Braves handed out free tickets to those forced to flee last week.

    If you want to follow their lead … click here to donate.

  • A New Trailer For Season Two Of ‘The Sinner’ Is Here And It Looks Intense

    The Sinner was a combination of violence, gore and murder. It was pretty brutal actually, but people loved it.

    Well, here’s some good news – Season 2 of the series will launch on Netflix on 9 November 2018 and we’ve got another teaser for you to feast your eyes on.

    If you watched the first season, you’ll recognise one familiar face in particular – Detective Harry Ambrose. He’s getting dragged back to his hometown in rural New York to assess an unsettling and heart-wrenching crime.

    What is this crime, you ask? Parents murdered by their 11-year-old son, with no apparent motive.

    We told you it was pretty intense.

    Credit: Netflix
    Credit: Netflix

    As Ambrose realises there’s nothing ordinary about the boy or where he came from, the investigation pulls him into the hidden darkness of his hometown.

    He’s pitted against those who’ll stop at nothing to protect its secrets – and a mysterious woman who proves to be a complicated, enigmatic piece to this haunting puzzle.

    Dun, dun, duuuuuun.

    Credit: Netflix
    Credit: Netflix

    Back in June, executive producer, Jessica Biel tweeted an exclusive first look of the highly anticipated second season, which aired in the US on 1 August:

    Fans already seem sold, with one tweeting excitedly: Yesss!! Can’t wait!!! Counting down the days!!”

    Someone else commented: “Good god this looks intense,” while another agreed, saying it looks ‘scary and intense’.

    “Damn… I’m still recovering from season 1. This looks great though.” another person wrote.

    Thank you LORD!! Can not wait to see this now…. I hope this series runs and runs it’s definitely got legs to do it #thesinner,” someone else said.

    The first season of The Sinner was based on the German novel of the same name by Petra Hammesfahr. It was a standalone story so for the return of Season 2 an entire new plot has been created.

    Jessica Biel was the star of the first season and this time she is involved as an executive producer with uncertainty around whether she’ll be making an appearance.

    One thing is for sure, she seems pretty damn happy about the entire thing and is probably just as invested as we are.

    Credit: Netflix
    Credit: Netflix

    She told Digital Spy: “I will definitely be involved in some way. I hope somebody writes me into the show, if we can figure it out.

    “We will figure it out if it’s possible, but we want to be authentic to the show. We want to do what’s right for the show as opposed to what’s right for me.”

    We cannot wait to catch up with this on Netflix.

    Featured Image Credit: Netflix

  • Opinion | The ‘Roseanne’ Reboot Is Funny. I’m Not Going to Keep Watching.

    When a lot of the mainstream media talks about the working class, there is a tendency to romanticize, to idealize them as the most authentic Americans. They are “real” and their problems are “real” problems, as if everyone else is dealing with artificial obstacles. We see this in some of the breathless media coverage of Trump voters and in a lot of the online chatter about the “Roseanne” reboot. What often goes unsaid is that when the working class is defined in our cultural imagination, we are talking about white people, even though the real American working class is made up of people from many races and ethnicities.

    During a Television Critics Association panel promoting the show, Ms. Barr said, “it was working-class people who elected Trump.”

    This myth persists, but it is only a myth. Forty-one percent of voters earning less than $50,000 voted for Mr. Trump while 53 percent voted for Hillary Clinton. Forty-nine percent of voters earning between $50,000 and $100,000 voted for Mr. Trump while 47 percent voted for Mrs. Clinton. The median income of these voters was $72,000, while the median income of Hillary Clinton voters was $61,000. A significant number of middle-class and wealthy white people contributed to Trump’s election.

    In the show, during an exchange about their political disagreement, Roseanne tells Jackie one of the reasons she voted for Mr. Trump is because he “talked about jobs.” And that was all the political ideology we got. If we are to believe the circumstances of this character’s life, a few vague words about “jobs” was more than enough to compel Roseanne, with inadequate health care, with vulnerable grandchildren, and struggling to make ends meet, to vote for Mr. Trump.

    How do you reach people who make dangerous political choices grounded in self-interest? When Roseanne and Jackie finally reconcile, Roseanne never apologizes or concedes. She merely tells Jackie, “I forgive you,” and Jackie acknowledges how hard that was for Roseanne. Clearly, we cannot reach people who make dangerous, myopic political choices. We concede, as Jackie does, or we resist, as hopefully the rest of us will.

    In my book “Bad Feminist,” published in 2014, I wrote about giving myself permission to be flawed but feminist. I wrote about how sometimes I consume problematic pop culture, knowing I shouldn’t, knowing how harmful that pop culture can be. I still believe there is room for that, for having principles and enjoying things that challenge those principles. But in the ensuing years, I’ve also been thinking about accountability and the repercussions of our choices. I’ve been thinking about how nothing will change if we keep consuming problematic pop culture without demanding anything better.

    As I watched the first two episodes of the “Roseanne” reboot, I thought again about accountability. I laughed, yes, and enjoyed seeing the Conner family back on my screen. My first reaction was that the show was excellent. But I could not set aside what I know of Roseanne Barr and how toxic and dangerous her current public persona is. I could not overlook how the Conner family came together to support Mark as he was bullied at school for his gender presentation, after voting for a president who actively works against the transgender community. They voted for a president who doesn’t think the black life of their granddaughter matters. They act as if love can protect the most vulnerable members of their family from the repercussions of their political choices. It cannot.

    This fictional family, and the show’s very real creator, are further normalizing Trump and his warped, harmful political ideologies. There are times when we can consume problematic pop culture, but this is not one of those times. I saw the first two episodes of the “Roseanne” reboot, but that’s all I am going to watch. It’s a small line to draw, but it’s a start.

  • Compilation of funny horses antics caught on video – Good Times

    It is undeniable that horses are majestic animals. But sometimes these beautiful animals also have their childish side and want to have some fun. After all, it is difficult to act majestic all day long. This video is a hilarious collection of funny horses that would brighten up your day.

    This video perfectly shows the magical personalities that the horses have. From splashing water to having fun with zippers on people’s jackets. These four legged beauties also want to live life to the fullest.

    Feeling depressed? This video is the perfect medicine to lift your spirits and brighten up your day. So be sure to share it to your friends to brighten their day as well.

    Watch this funny collection of horses antics in the video.

  • Family Sends The Most Awkward Christmas Cards For 15 Years, And It’s Too Funny

    If you think you’ve already seen the funniest family Christmas card of the season, think again. Every year since 2003, the Bergeron family has been ringing in the holidays by producing the most clever and hilarious greeting cards we’ve ever seen, and just like the snow outside, they’re showing no signs of stopping.

    Show Full Text

    Mike Bergeron, his wife Laura, and their two daughters known online as ‘Gigi’ and ‘Juju’ have made an annual tradition out of the refreshingly original photoshoots, and each December, they choose a new knee-slapping theme. Whether they draw on pop culture, local culture, or embarrassingly awkward family cards of yore, they always seem to pull it off as a team. Special credit is due, of course, to the JC Penney Portrait Studio, which has seen them all the way from ‘white trash Christmas’ to a full drag ensemble.

    Scroll down to take in each joyful edition for yourself, read the stories behind them in Mike Bergeron’s own words, and tell us which ones sent you into a fit of jolly laughter in the comments.

    2003, Forty & Fighting It

    Our first card! The original concept was “Plugs & Juggs”, but we had to choose this photo because of the priceless facial expressions, even though you can’t see Laura’s overly-augmented rack. Thus, we call this “Forty & Fighting It”. The photographer tried to move the light away from overhead and I had to ask her to shine it directly down on me – she didn’t know how to tell me that it was reflecting off of my head and making me look like I was balding. Finally, I just told her that the balding look was what I was after. She had no idea that we were dressed up in costumes!

    2004, We’re Dreaming of a White Trash Xmas

    When I went to the JC Penney Portrait Studio to pick-up our cards, they were very busy with the holiday rush and the manager (who was also the cashier) was clearly stressed-out, answering phones, organizing photo sittings, delegating to her employees and systematically trying to work through the line at the cash register. After patiently waiting for about 10 minutes, it was my turn to be helped and she immediately went into sales mode, taking control of the transaction and regurgitating her customer service talk track in a frenzy, multitasking all-the-while, mind you, and not able to really give me her full attention.
    Her – “Welcome to JC Penney Portrait Studio, how can I help you today, sir?”
    Me – “I’m here to pick-up my Christmas cards.”
    Her – “Okay, what is your last name?”
    Me – “It’s Bergeron, but I have my receipt right here, if that helps.”
    Her – “Okay, thank you. Give me just a moment while I get your order. Sir, it appears they accidentally printed an 8×10, which is usually $19.99, but we’ll let you have it for $5, since it was our mistake.”
    Me – “No thanks.”
    Her – “Okay…well, I see that your wife is pregnant…I hope you will be coming back to JC Penney to take your baby pictures.”
    Me (smiling at the realization that she doesn’t get the joke) – “Actually, she’s not really pregnant…and if she was, I wouldn’t let her drink beer or smoke cigarettes…and, as you can see, I don’t really have a mullet. Its a joke card.”
    In the midst of what was utter chaos for her at that moment, she just sort of stared at me in bewilderment as the cashier next to her stopped what he was doing, leaned over to look at the card and said to me with pure and utter excitement, “Dude, that’s awesome!”
    Me – “Thanks. Merry Christmas!”
    As I took my cards and walked away, the manager stood there in absolute confusion, her brain apparently frozen with the realization that her sales training had failed to prepare her for this situation.

    2005, Your Aunt & Uncle Who Live in the Midwest

    Being a Bergeron, I have always known that I would eventually lose my hair. We are trained from birth to accept the fact that someday our hair will fall out. At the age of 32, it was apparent to me that my days were numbered and if I wanted to make fun of being bald, then this would likely be my last chance before the joke would become reality. So, on the afternoon of the photo shoot, I had Laura shave the hair off of the top of my head…and I’ve been bald ever since. The thing is, I had to walk around with a bald head for a couple of weeks while the holiday card was processing and shipping, but I didn’t want to give anyone any hints about what the card might be. So, when people would ask me why I suddenly shaved all of the hair off of my head, I would give them some made-up excuse like, “I joined a cult” or, “I’m a racist” or, “Chicks really seem to like that Vin Diesel guy, so I thought I’d give it a shot.” Incidentally, one of the other excuses I would give was, “I’m a competitive swimmer and I wanted to shave some time off my laps.” A few years later, I was bartending and my friend Kristine came in with one of her girlfriends. We chatted a bit and I mixed them up some special shots and then Kristine got up to go to the restroom and her friend says to me, “So, Kristine tells me you’re a swimmer.” Now the question is: How many people are out there who still believe I really joined a cult?

    2006, A Very Special Xmas

    A couple of years before we started this tradition, my friend, Jeremy, worked during the holidays in a photo studio.  If he thought that a family portrait was particularly funny, he would print a copy for himself and put it on display in his living room.  They were all awkward and wonderful in their own way, but there was one photo in particular that was so delightfully goofy and uncomfortable that it has always stuck with me.  This card is an effort to recreate the magic of that card.  I’ll be the first to admit that we fall terribly short, but I think it still manages to bring some joy to the holiday season!

    2007, American Gothic Xmas

    Overshadowed by controversy, some “purists” have accused us of cheating with this particular card because we Photoshopped it.  For those who love it, thanks…we love you, too. For those who feel we cheated…look, we actually dressed-up in costumes and took a photograph for this card (we even bought a pitchfork!). However, since the original work was done with paint on canvas and did not look like a real-life photo, we felt it would be a better choice to manipulate our photo to look like the painting. Since neither Laura nor I are graphic designers, it was quite difficult and time-consuming, but we are very pleased with the way it came out. Anyone who thinks we took the easy way out on this one is simply oblivious to the effort it required. By the way, this was Laura’s departed grandmother’s favorite out of all of our cards. Oh, and for those of you who have suggested that the guy looks nothing like me, just wait until my relatives on my dad’s side view this post and they all chime-in about how I look exactly like my Grandpa Bergeron. In short, suck it, haters!

    2008, Merry Krishnas

    We got started a little late this year, which meant that when we went to JC Penney to take our picture, there was a one hour wait. We walked through the mall and wound up eating dinner in the food court. I only wish that we had brought flowers.

    2009, Los Cholos

    This is my personal favorite. Some cards are obviously a joke, but when a card looks as real as this one, it is something special. Again, on this particular year, we weren’t able to take the picture until after Thanksgiving, so the JC Penney photo studio was very busy and we had to wait for an hour to get in. Understandably so, Laura was nervous about walking around the Westminster Mall looking like we did, but I reassured her by saying, “Seriously? Look at us…nobody is going to fuck with us!” I was right…not a single person would even make eye contact with us.

    2010, Olin Mills Family Portrait from 1981

    May your holiday table be a smorgasbord of cheese balls, fruitcakes, and hams!  In many ways, this card best represents what we were trying to achieve from the very beginning. Our concept was inspired by the inherently awkward nature of holiday family photos that has now become so popular in the age of the internet. We wanted to try to capture that awkwardness (in a next level sort of way) and give everyone we know the gift of having a funny card on their fridge that would capture the spirit of the holiday season. When they had people over to their house during the holidays, they could take pleasure in seeing their guests’ reactions upon viewing the card without realizing it was a joke. On a side note, as a bald man who has known his entire life that he would grow up to be bald, it had been a longtime aspiration of mine to sport a combover at some point because they are so fascinating in their ridiculousness! So, this particular card allowed me to not only fulfill a lifelong dream, but also to capture it in all of its glory for the ages.

    2011, The Unibrows

    I love the idea for this picture, but personally, I think it could’ve been better executed. Don’t get me wrong, we look funny & Gigi really gives the card a whole other dynamic with her incredible cuteness, but I think this concept had the potential to be our best card ever, if we had done it right.

    2012, Goth Xmas

    This is your legacy, girls…embrace it!

    2013, Jazz Hands

    Sometimes you catch lightning in a bottle 🙂  Look at Laura…bringing it! Look at Gigi…bringing it! Look at Juju…well, protesting (at least she’s consistent). I am truly blessed.

    2014, The Holidays Are Such a Drag

    I doubt if anyone at the JC Penney Portrait Studio even thought twice about Laura and the girls, but it was a pretty busy year and we were waiting for about 45 minutes for the photographer to be available, so I am certain that my presence made a lot of people uncomfortable in the studio’s waiting area. I had to hunt high and low for shoes that would fit me (thanks Lane Bryant) and, of course, I shaved my legs, so you can imagine how excited I was that we wound up choosing a shot from the waist up. And, seriously, how friggin’ cute are those boys? If we had given Gigi glasses, I think she would’ve looked an awful lot like Ralphie!

    2015, Les Modèles (AKA Fashionistas, AKA Euro Trash)

    His shoes – $850, her shoes – $950, spending your holiday with the Bergerons – priceless.

    2016, Cussin Jerry nem

    A little over a year ago, Gigi started calling me “Cousin Jerry.” It caught on with her little sister and, after a while, I started talking to them as I imagined Cousin Jerry would. Since then, he has become a regular visitor in our household, so it seemed fitting to share him with all of you this holiday season. If y’all are lucky, you may get to see “Creepy Larry” (another Gigi-inspired character) and his family in a future card…we’ll just have to see. Side note…and I feel like I say this every year, but…look at Gigi bringing it!!!

    2017, Gingers in Paradise

    We went in a slightly different direction this year, which required stepping out of the JCP Portrait Studio and using a photographer (big thanks to Marco Montenegro) at the local beach. This our nod to the ever-so-popular holiday card theme that says “Look at us soaking up the sun’s rays in a beautiful tropical paradise while you’re freezing your nuts off…don’t you wish you were us?”

  • Popular

    Humans Attempt To Do A Christmas Card Photoshoot With Their Husky, And The Result Is Just Too Funny

    We’ve all had the feeling at some stage when try as we might, the Christmas spirit just isn’t coming. This appears to be the case for famously grumpy Siberian husky Anuko, judging from the results of his festive photoshoot.

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    With Anuko however, looks can be deceiving. “He has a dark black mask around his face that makes him look that way. It runs in his family,” his owner Jasmine told Bored Panda. His surly, steely expression isn’t down to any kind of innately grumpy character, quite the opposite in fact. He is actually a very relaxed and kind dog who shows a great enthusiasm for the fun things in life. “He’s mostly chilled out, very quiet. He’s not overbearing so doesn’t like cuddles that much, but if you leave the room he will follow. He’s like my little shadow and he intervenes when he sees necessary – something that’s benefited me a lot regarding my mental health” Jasmine told us.

    Jasmine found Anuko aged just 5 weeks old, as she was struggling at the time with mental health issues and heard that many like her had benefited from getting a dog. The pair bonded immediately and Anuko has played a huge part in her recovery and wellbeing. “When I got him I was quite suicidal and depressive, I didn’t have any friends or a job and I’d quit school. I lived my life in bed, practically,”  she told us. “Thank goodness he came into my life because without him I’d probably still be in bed, or worse. He encouraged me to get out – the fresh air and so many hours outdoors with him did me a lot of good.”

    While Anuko may appear to resent the very concept of Christmas, he actually doesn’t find it so bad. We did however share a genuinely miffed moment of Anuko’s a couple of years back, when realising he’d been tricked into believing Jasmine had thrown him a ball. The pics went viral and have changed Jasmine’s life completely, she now runs several social media and webpages dedicated to Anuko and to huskies in general. “I run a website called Snowdog Guru, where I help other Snowdog owners,” she told Bored Panda. “They’re a unique breed and come with a lot of responsibility. Because of my expanding website though, I made the decision that I wanted to go to vet school which I’m applying for this year.  None of it would’ve happened without him coming into my life.”

    So it appears that no matter how grumpy Anuko seems to be on the outside, he and Jasmine could not be happier in each other’s company and the story really illustrates the power of the bond between human and animal. Scroll down below to check out Anuko’s hilariously grumpy (though not really) photoshoot!

    More info: Website | Instagram | Facebook

  • Popular

    People Are Sharing Shitty Life Tips, And They’re Just Too Funny

    Life hacks are awesome. Handy short cuts that let you get the boring stuff done quicker and easier, giving you more time to get on with the more important stuff, like playing with your dog or saving the world.

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    These life hacks however, are not that. These are parody life hacks, life hacks so creatively useless that the only thing they are good for is making you giggle uncontrollably. Which I guess is an end unto itself right? This is the sequel to our previous pro-tip shit list, which proved wildly popular!

    Scroll down the list below and marvel at the absurdity of it all, but whatever you do don’t take any of this terrible advice on board, as some of them are actually pretty dangerous. Do vote for your favourite though!

  • Senator Al Franken Kissed and Groped Me Without My Consent, And There’s Nothing Funny About It

    By Leeann Tweeden

    In December of 2006, I embarked on my ninth USO Tour to entertain our troops, my eighth to the Middle East since the 9/11 attacks. My father served in Vietnam and my then-boyfriend (and now husband, Chris) is a pilot in the Air Force, so bringing a ‘little piece of home’ to servicemembers stationed far away from their families was both my passion and my privilege.

    Also on the trip were country music artists Darryl Worley, Mark Wills, Keni Thomas, and some cheerleaders from the Dallas Cowboys. The headliner was comedian and now-senator, Al Franken.

    Franken had written some skits for the show and brought props and costumes to go along with them. Like many USO shows before and since, the skits were full of sexual innuendo geared toward a young, male audience.

    As a TV host and sports broadcaster, as well as a model familiar to the audience from the covers of FHM, Maxim and Playboy, I was only expecting to emcee and introduce the acts, but Franken said he had written a part for me that he thought would be funny, and I agreed to play along.

    When I saw the script, Franken had written a moment when his character comes at me for a ‘kiss’. I suspected what he was after, but I figured I could turn my head at the last minute, or put my hand over his mouth, to get more laughs from the crowd.

    On the day of the show Franken and I were alone backstage going over our lines one last time. He said to me, “We need to rehearse the kiss.” I laughed and ignored him. Then he said it again. I said something like, ‘Relax Al, this isn’t SNL…we don’t need to rehearse the kiss.’

    He continued to insist, and I was beginning to get uncomfortable.

    He repeated that actors really need to rehearse everything and that we must practice the kiss. I said ‘OK’ so he would stop badgering me. We did the line leading up to the kiss and then he came at me, put his hand on the back of my head, mashed his lips against mine and aggressively stuck his tongue in my mouth.

    I immediately pushed him away with both of my hands against his chest and told him if he ever did that to me again I wouldn’t be so nice about it the next time.

    I walked away. All I could think about was getting to a bathroom as fast as possible to rinse the taste of him out of my mouth.

    I felt disgusted and violated.

    Not long after, I performed the skit as written, carefully turning my head so he couldn’t kiss me on the lips.

    No one saw what happened backstage. I didn’t tell the Sergeant Major of the Army, who was the sponsor of the tour. I didn’t tell our USO rep what happened.

    At the time I didn’t want to cause trouble. We were in the middle of a war zone, it was the first show of our Holiday tour, I was a professional, and I could take care of myself. I told a few of the others on the tour what Franken had done and they knew how I felt about it.

    I tried to let it go, but I was angry.

    Other than our dialogue on stage, I never had a voluntary conversation with Al Franken again. I avoided him as much as possible and made sure I was never alone with him again for the rest of the tour.

    Franken repaid me with petty insults, including drawing devil horns on at least one of the headshots I was autographing for the troops.

    But he didn’t stop there.

    The tour wrapped and on Christmas Eve we began the 36-hour trip home to L.A. After 2 weeks of grueling travel and performing I was exhausted. When our C-17 cargo plane took off from Afghanistan I immediately fell asleep, even though I was still wearing my flak vest and Kevlar helmet.

    It wasn’t until I was back in the US and looking through the CD of photos we were given by the photographer that I saw this one:

    I couldn’t believe it. He groped me, without my consent, while I was asleep.

    I felt violated all over again. Embarrassed. Belittled. Humiliated.

    How dare anyone grab my breasts like this and think it’s funny?

    I told my husband everything that happened and showed him the picture.

    I wanted to shout my story to the world with a megaphone to anyone who would listen, but even as angry as I was, I was worried about the potential backlash and damage going public might have on my career as a broadcaster.

    But that was then, this is now. I’m no longer afraid.

    Today, I am the news anchor on McIntyre in the Morning on KABC Radio in Los Angeles. My colleagues are some of the most supportive people I’ve ever worked with in my career. Like everyone in the media, we’ve been reporting on the Harvey Weinstein sexual misconduct allegations since they broke, and the flood of similar stories that have come out about others.

    A few weeks ago, we had California Congresswoman Jackie Speier on the show and she told us her story of being sexually assaulted when she was a young Congressional aide. She described how a powerful man in the office where she worked ‘held her face, kissed her and stuck his tongue in her mouth.’

    At that moment, I thought to myself, Al Franken did that exact same thing to me.

    I had locked up those memories of helplessness and violation for a long time, but they all came rushing back to me and my hands clinched into fists like it was yesterday.

    I’m still angry at what Al Franken did to me.

    Every time I hear his voice or see his face, I am angry. I am angry that I did his stupid skit for the rest of that tour. I am angry that I didn’t call him out in front of everyone when I had the microphone in my hand every night after that. I wanted to. But I didn’t want to rock the boat. I was there to entertain the troops and make sure they forgot about where they were for a few hours. Someday, I thought to myself, I would tell my story.

    That day is now.

    Senator Franken, you wrote the script. But there’s nothing funny about sexual assault.

    You wrote the scene that would include you kissing me and then relentlessly badgered me into ‘rehearsing’ the kiss with you backstage when we were alone.

    You knew exactly what you were doing. You forcibly kissed me without my consent, grabbed my breasts while I was sleeping and had someone take a photo of you doing it, knowing I would see it later, and be ashamed.

    While debating whether or not to go public, I even thought to myself, so much worse has happened to so many others, maybe my story isn’t worth telling? But my story is worth telling.

    Not just because 2017 is not 2006, or because I am much more secure in my career now than I was then, and not because I’m still angry.

    I’m telling my story because there may be others.

    I want to have the same effect on them that Congresswoman Jackie Speier had on me. I want them, and all the other victims of sexual assault, to be able to speak out immediately, and not keep their stories –and their anger– locked up inside for years, or decades.

    I want the days of silence to be over forever.

    Leeann Tweeden is morning news anchor on TalkRadio 790 KABC in Los Angeles

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